When a mother hurts you, forgiving her can feel like admitting what she did was okay. But it’s not. Forgiveness doesn’t even have to include making up. It can be something you do to free yourself from bad energy and heal. Letting go of the hurt. If you’re ready to forgive, start here:
- First, let yourself be angry or sad or whatever you feel about what happened. Feel all the feelings. The make the choice to move forward.
- This is hard: Try to think about what happened in that person’s life that caused her to act the way she did. If your mom didn’t take care of you or drank too much, maybe her parents did the same thing to her, and she didn’t know how to do any better to you. You’re not making excuses for her. You’re just seeing all sides.
- Let go of the bad feelings, and if possible, do something nice for her, even if it’s just liking an Instagram pic or smiling at her. It would be great if she apologizes, but even if she doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. You’re doing this for you.
- Finally, think about whether there’s some bigger lesson in your pain. Maybe it’s knowing how to help someone else or using your pain in your art. Try to see this as something that has made you stronger, because that’s exactly what it is.
SOURCE:BY SARAH ELIZABETH RICHARDS—“COSMOPLITAN